In Memory Of Zack
by coonwho8canary
Summary: I welcomed the warmth he provided as I thought about the possible repercussions of alienating my companions, for they once again sat in a tight circle, away from me, and talked in quite whispers.  not witchxhunter
1. Chapter 1

Wow, I'm ACTUALLY posting something... The world must be ending! Hope you guess like this. Sorry for any grammar/spelling I may have missed.

La La~ I don't own L4D, just the characters and the story, you know the dead... I mean deal, ha ha...

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><p>The rain fell hard over the broken city, both a comfort from the hell fire that normally surrounded us, and a hindering curtain of depression. I sat on the sill of the barred window of our latest safe-house staring out over the empty streets. It surprised me that the infected still had enough sense to get out of the rain, but maybe they were all just... somewhere else. The leather of the simple cross necklace wrapped around my fingers grounded me.<p>

_Everyone dies_.

The thought did little to soothe my mind, or my sorrow. The other survivors in the room talked in quite whispers. I could not blame them, none of them had known us before the infection. I couldn't expect them... to what? To understand?

I didn't want anything from them. Zack was gone, dead. My best friend, my last connection to the past.

They had done nothing to try to save him, just stared, petrified by their own self preservation. But it was his own fault, right? 'Cause he had fallen behind?

"You should get some sleep," The only girl in our little group of six... five, (Anna?) Said. I found I didn't much care if her name was Anna, or Julia, or Dirt, her name wasn't Zack, and she wasn't my friend.

"I will," my voice sounded rough even to my own ears. The sun was just barely setting and I knew we would be here until morning. It was too dangerous to travel at night, rain or no. But beyond that, my mind would never allow me to sleep. I rubbed my friend's cross between my fingers.

Anna seemed dissatisfied with my response, but returned to her sleeping bag none the less.

The rain continued to fall, some of it coming through the open window and soaking my filthy clothing. The cold felt good though, and I thought about the irony of dying of the real flu. It almost made me laugh. Almost.

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><p>It was a smoker. It had grabbed him just as the safe-house had come into view. I shot the smoker, but by then he had been dragged into a horde and I couldn't get to him. Evan grabbed me from behind and dragged me into the safe-house as I tried to run after him. By the time the horde left, all that was left of him was his necklace.<p>

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><p>In that moment nothing seemed important. I thought about our destination, the vaguely described "safe-zone." Could such a place even exist? How many barricades had the infected already gotten through? How many evacuation sites had we been to, and all of them lay in ruin.<p>

But what if it did exist, this perfect paradise where the infected couldn't touch us, and we could sleep soundly at night. So what? The world would never go back to normal, the infection wouldn't go away, even if it was on the other side of a wall.

I also thought about God. Did God even exist in this hell? What could we have possibly done to warrant a punishment like this? I had never been very religious, but Zack had been something of a "good Christian" and we had talked about it often.

That had been one of the many things I loved about Zack. He never judged anyone. He could talk about his beliefs calmly and rationally without making you feel stupid or trying to change your opinion. He truly loved God and life and people: and every time I was around him, so did I.

_I have nothing to live for now, everyone I know is dead. _

The glowing eyes of the infected stared up at me from the dead city below.

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><p>I didn't sleep that night, like I was suppose to, just stared at the zombies staring back at me. The sun started to rise and my companions began to wake from their restless sleep and gather their meager possessions. Anna looked at me with an unreadable expression, but said nothing. For that I suppose I was grateful, but honestly I didn't really care if she said anything or not. Zack was dead.<p>

I ate nothing of our rations before we departed. Anna gave me a worried look and I was beginning to become irritated with her obvious concern for me.

I had thought, long ago, back when zombies were about as real as unicorns, that I would have liked being in a zombie apocalypse. The thought of killing zombies had sounded fun. It was sort of liberating I suppose, but being caked in blood and grime and unmentionable filth for days, with no conceivable end, is anything but fun; but it was like a duty, you didn't question it. Move along, stay together, kill zombies, don't think, don't feel, just survive.

Just survive.

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><p>We went for days like that, moving from safe-house to safe-house, never saying more than a few words at a time to each other. And then, just like that, everything changed.<p>

We came across a tree with a Smoker hanging from one of it's branches. He had a barbed wire noose around he's neck and he had his stomach split so that his guts spilled across the pavement. His tongue was wrapped around the branch as though he had tried to save himself and his hands were bloody and torn.

I should have been happy, should have hated him, and all Smokers, for what had happened, but I didn't. I felt profoundly sad. The thing in that tree had been human, just like Zack. He had had friends, and family, perhaps even a wife and kids. Who was the real monster? That man, who was only sick with a horrible disease or the one that put him there, and made him suffer?

The laughs of my companions at the creature's plight told me they believed it to be the former. But I was not so sure anymore. What gave us the right to kill all these people? Even if they are trying to kill us. What makes us any better than them? They are sick, they don't have a choice anymore about attacking us, but we do have a choice. And yet we still choose to kill them?

I went over to the Smoker and started to carefully cut him down. I had to, what was left of my humanity demanded it. I didn't care that the wire was dulling my blade, didn't care that they were all staring at me. I felt a light touch on my shoulder and turned to see Gregory looking down at me sadly. He was a good kid, the youngest of our group, and it occurred to me that he hadn't been one of the ones laughing. He helped me untangle the barbed wire from around the dead Smokers neck as the others watched, completely dumbfounded by our act of compassion.

I honestly don't know why we did it. We shouldn't have, but we took the time and precious energy to dig a small grave under the tree and buried the Smoker there with several small rocks for a head stone. Maybe it eased our minds, to pay respects to at least one human who had lost everything to this disease. Or maybe we just wanted to prove we were still human, and capable of compassion. Either way, there's a nameless man buried under that tree now, perhaps the last human that will ever be buried in this world.

I couldn't kill them after that. All I thought about was Zack and the Smoker and life and death, and I couldn't bring myself to kill any more of them. Even if I had already watched hundreds fall under my axe's blade. I nearly got us all killed half a dozen times or more, just standing there like a moron with my mouth slightly open. I just stood there, staring, as though into infinity, at the endless horde of infected _humans. _They weren't animals anymore. It wasn't _us _versus _them_, it wasn't _survivor _versus _infected_ (sick, dead, zombies, monsters.) They were just people, people I had to kill in order to live.

I didn't want to live in a world like that, but I caught a glimpse of something shiny and looked down to see the necklace still wrapped around my wrist. Zack. If I died, so would his memory. I couldn't let that happen. If I had to sacrifice my humanity by killing these people in order to keep his memory alive, then so be it, that would be my punishment for not being able to save him.

I felt as though I was the one being hit as I swung my axe at the nearest infected. A woman, I imagine she had been beautiful before the infection, her hair red from what I could see under the grime and dirt matting it to her head in a horrible rats nest, but maybe it was just the blood that made it red. Her eyes were void of anything but rage and she seemed to almost not notice the giant whole I had just put in her chest with my weapon. She coughed up her black blood onto my face and chest, then fell to the ground, dead.

In a way, she was the first person I killed. She was human in my eyes when I killed her. I was a murderer. The reason I killed her didn't matter, she was dead, and it was my fault. It made me sad and angry and full of self-loathing all at once and I almost fell to my knees in despair.

I felt Evan punch me in the shoulder. "Get a hold of yourself man, or we're all going to fucking die out here." He was right, of course, I had been lucky so far, but if I continued to test my luck we would all die. I pushed my feelings to the back of my mind and slipped into the old mind set: kill anything that gets in my way.

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><p>The next safe-house we got to was part of a run down two-story warehouse. The heavy metal door led to what looked like a break room with a staircase in the back that led to a second room. I wanted nothing to do with my companions at that moment, so I immediately headed for the staircase and ignored their offers of food and water.<p>

I didn't think of much as I sat there doing nothing, not listening to the sounds downstairs, or the faint sounds of the infected killing each other and anything else dumb enough to get close. I suppose I came to terms with being a murderer, as much as one can come to terms with it, but I didn't feel guilt, or remorse like I did when it happened. I attributed it to Zack's memory, but something in me didn't feel quite right.

It was long after dark before I heard the hesitant footsteps up the stairs. Gregory then came silently into the room rubbing his knuckles together as he searched for me in the darkness.

"I'm over here, kid. What do you want?" He walked over to me without saying a word and sat down next to me before handing me a protein bar and turning to hug his knees.

"I know you haven't eaten today, so..." He was such a kid. I thanked him for the protein bar and started to eat it.

I heard sniffling and looked over to see tears rolling down Gregory's face. "Wow, hey! Don't cry, what's wrong?" He turned and buried his head in my chest and fisted his hand in my shirt. I had forgotten how good it felt to be touched by another human-being, one that wasn't trying to kill you. I felt his tears began to soak through my shirt as I rubbed slow circles in his back with one hand. I wouldn't be eating the rest of that protein bar now.

"It's ok kid," _What part of this is "ok" exactly? _I frowned at that thought, but it did seem to calm the kid down a bit. He unclenched my shirt and wiped his eyes, but otherwise stayed where he was.

_I guess he misses touching other people too._

Comforting him took some of the sorrow off of my own heart, and for that I was grateful. But this kid had that effect on people. He wasn't overly cheerful; I'd barely seen him smile twice in the four weeks we'd been together. Something about him just put your mind at ease, which was odd considering how nervous he always was.

It didn't take long for the kid to cry himself to sleep, and then I was alone again, more or less. But this time I did listen to the sounds outside, the sounds of the commons fighting amongst themselves and the distant rumble of a passing Tank. My mind felt lighter, freer, and it was all thanks to this kid.


	2. Chapter 2

I'd like to thank Virus of Humanity for the review! It's really meant a lot to me!

Don't own l4d blah blah blah

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><p>I awoke the next morning feeling as rested as you can feel after falling asleep sitting against a brick wall, but it was still the most well rested I had felt in a long time. I was hungry too, ravenously. Not wanting to wake the kid, I picked up the protein bar from last night and began devouring it, not caring that it had been sitting on the ground all night.<p>

Gregory woke up soon after I finished it. My side felt cold when he sat up to rub his eyes.

"Good morning," I said as he shifted and settled into a semi-cross legged sitting position. He looked up at me before looking down at his hands and began rubbing his knuckles together again. "Morning, um thanks... for last night," I sat up and stretched out my muscles.

"No problem, this zombie crap is hard on all of us." He stopped rubbing his knuckles and looked at me. "No, that's not why I was... um... crying," He looked down and hugged his knees. "That smoker that we buried yesterday..." I saw another tear roll down his cheek, "He was my father." He buried his head in his knees, and I saw light sobs rack his body.

I reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. Logically, we all knew our loved ones were probably dead, but when you lost what little hope still remained, something in you just broke. I knew what that felt like.

_I guess I have something to live for again._

I sat back and wiped the tears from his cheeks. I took the necklace from my wrist and put it around his neck. "Everything's gunna be ok kid, We're gunna get through this," He looked down at the necklace around his neck and gently touched it with his fingers. "Didn't this belong to your friend? I can't take this," He sounded like he was feeling better.

"Sure you can, I just gave it to you," And I got to see one of his rare smiles.

It was strange that he reminded me of Zack; Other than their kind hearts, they were exact opposites. I think Zack would have liked him though. He would have enjoyed teasing the kid for his timid habits and low self-esteem. All in good fun, of course, it was just his way of making people feel at ease. He would have made it his mission to get the kid to loosen up, to bad he didn't have enough time to get to know him.

We heard a light knock at the door to the stairs and turned to watch Satoshi, the oldest member of our little group, come through the door. "We leave soon," He had a thick accent. I think he had only been here a short time before the infection. He never said, and I never asked.

Gregory and I got up and headed downstairs. Evan and Anna were gathering supplies and packing up anything useful that previous survivors had left. Gregory ran over to the bag that contained our food and grabbed a couple of the MREs we had found at one of the abandoned CEDA camps. He then came back over to me and handed me one before he sat down on top of a desk and ripped his open.

It amused me to see how happy he seemed now, but I settled in next to him on the desk and started to eat, not really caring that the others were doing all the work to get us ready to leave.

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><p>The sun was shining brightly as we left the safe-house, and based on the position of the sun, I guessed that it was close to noon. I worried that the late start could mean that my companions were starting to succumb to fatigue, but I guess we all were. I didn't even know how far we had traveled since the beginning of our journey.<p>

Gregory seemed to have a bounce in his step though, as he walked at the head of our party talking with Evan.

_At least the kid is happy._

I smiled in amusement at the thought.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" _Well there goes my good mood. _I looked at Anna with a small scowl on my face. "What?" I tried not to sound as irritated as I felt, I don't think it worked.

"Are you ok? Why did you give your necklace to Gregory?" Leave it to a girl to notice something like that. It was hardly any of her business though.

"I felt like it," She frowned. Apparently she didn't like that answer. I smirked, at least I wasn't the only one irritated by this conversation.

"Wasn't it important to you though, 'cause of your friend?" _Don't pretend like you care, bitch. _She had never liked Zack. They fought a lot about stupid stuff, and it pissed me off that she tried to act all understanding and shit now that he was gone. Of course, her not liking Zack in the first place didn't win her any favor either.

"Yes, it is, but I don't see how that's any of your business," I sped up to accentuate that I was done talking.

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><p>Thankfully we walked for a couple of hours before running into any trouble, and the first Horde that came was easily taken care of. It wasn't until the Tank got there that the troubles really started.<p>

It came out of no where and chucked a car at us, forcing me to separate from the group. We all started shooting it as quickly as we could, but as the Tank started going after them, forcing them down a nearby alley, a charger came and swept me away, knocking my rifle from my hands.

Luckily I had a shotgun strapped to my back and I managed to pull it off and shoot him in the head before he started pummeling me. After I killed the charger I looked around to find my companions and discovered they were gone. This was bad, really bad. Lone survivors didn't last long. The first Hunter or Smoker to come along could easily take me out without even thinking about it.

I looked around for the signs pointing to the safe-house. I found one after a while and under it was a note written in black sharpie. "We'll wait for you. -Gregory," I read the sign out loud. Of course the kid would think I was still alive. Now I just had to make sure it stayed that way.

I looked around for my rifle, but it was nowhere to be found. _Damn, I hate this shotgun, it takes too long to load, but I guess it will have to do._ At least I had my axe as well. I started towards the safe-house, straining my eyes and ears for any sign of special infected.

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><p>I was running low on ammo when I came across an apartment building. Deciding that this would be as good a place as any to look for some, I headed for the smashed window next to the boarded up door that I assumed was the front entrance.<p>

I went through the tedious task of going from room to room looking for ammo. I found a few 40mm shells in one room and brought them along just in case I found a weapon to go with them, but found nothing else of use on the first floor.

Feeling slightly discouraged I went up the stairs to continue my search. The first room I checked proved just as useless as the first floor, but I finally managed to find some shotgun shells in the second. There were only five, but I wasn't about to complain, ammo was ammo. I also found a length of rope, which I attached to my belt, and a good sized hunting knife. Deciding there was nothing else useful in this room I moved out into the hall to continue my search.

I turned into the next room and heard a Hunter's screech as I saw a blue blur fly towards me. I quickly lifted my shotgun and fired, only managing to sever the hunter's right leg from his torso. It was enough to distract him long enough to deflect his pounce and send him flying back into the middle of the room.

The Hunter and I stared at each other and I was shocked to see fear and pain in his eyes under all the hatred that seemed to seep from his very being. I relished in it. The Hunter posed little threat without his leg, and I wanted to see more of that twisted fear that shouldn't be there. So I grabbed the rope off of my belt and moved toward the Hunter slowly, careful to make sure I didn't give him an opportunity to pin me. He put up a good fight, even without his leg, but I eventually managed to tie his arms behind his back. Not wanting the Hunter to bleed to death, I took off my belt and used a piece of a broken chair to make a tourniquet.

Then I sat down on the ripped up couch and watched the Hunter struggle to stand up.

_What am I doing?_ This was crazy. What, was I going to torturer this creature? He's HUMAN. The fear I could see on his face was proof. I put my head in my hands. The Hunter was terrified of me, wasn't that proof that there was still humanity in him? What made me want to see more of his fear?

The Hunter growled as he shifted around and scratched the floor with his foot. I looked up at him and realized that I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I got up and pulled out the hunting knife so that I could cut the Hunter loose. Stupid, I know, but at that point I wasn't exactly thinking. I was ashamed of myself and I just wanted to make it better. As I bent down to cut his ropes, the Hunter lunged forward and sunk his teeth into my shoulder.

"FUCK," It hurt like Hell. I shoved the knife into the Hunter's neck and he let go and fell back, choking and bleeding to death. I sat on the floor looking at my wound. I was screwed, so screwed. Gregory. I didn't trust those disloyal idiots to protect him, and I had promised him that we were going to make it. I had to go back. But what if I attacked him? No, I had to go back. The kid was waiting for me, I couldn't disappoint him.

I stood up and took off my shirt. If they saw I was bitten they would surely shoot me. I headed into the bedroom and grabbed the sheet from the bed to try to stop the bleeding. Once most of it had stopped I went to the closet to look for something that fit me. I found a long sleeve plaid button up shirt that fit pretty well. Plaid wouldn't be my first choice, but it was the only thing that fit at all.

I decided it wasn't worth it to check the rest of the building so I went downstairs and left the building and never looked back. I ran into a few zombies, which I was actually thankful for, it would have been suspicious if I had shown up with a clean shirt on.

When I got to the safe-house I didn't tell my companions what had happened or what I had done to the Hunter. Gregory look at me with admiration, walking over to me hoping for comfort like the night before.

_Don't look at me that way kid. I'm a bad person, _I thought, but let him snuggle up to my side nonetheless. He either didn't notice, or didn't care about the new shirt.

The others gave us weird looks, but I really couldn't care less what they thought, and started running my fingers through the kid's greasy hair, just to see their reactions. I wasn't disappointed. Watching Anna's shock turn to disgust was priceless. Ha ha frikin' bitch.

Gregory gave a contented sigh and I was happy that he remained unaware of our companion's shallow "morals." I didn't want them making him feel bad about doing anything he could to keep himself sane, Even if that meant sharing body heat with someone much older, and the same gender.

I was beginning to think that Anna thought I should be sharing my body heat with _her, _like that was going to happen. Not if she was the last woman on Earth, but then again she very well might be.

The kid had fallen asleep against my side by then, and I welcomed the warmth he provided as I thought about the possible repercussions of alienating my companions, for they once again sat in a tight circle, away from me, and talked in quite whispers. But what did I care? They wouldn't let me die so long as their lives depended on me just as much as my life depended on them. But then again, maybe they would.

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><p>I woke up in the middle of the night because Gregory had shifted in his sleep and hit my wound. I hissed in pain and gripped my shoulder, which caused him to wake up too. He rubbed his eyes in confusion, then realized I was gripping my shoulder.<p>

"Your hurt! Let me get a first aid kit," I didn't have time to object before he was already on his feet heading towards where we kept our stuff. He returned not long after with the red bag in hand and sat down on his knees before he started opening it. "Take off your shirt," He opened a bottle of disinfectant and poured some onto a cotton pad.

I didn't really have much choice, so I complied with his request and started unbuttoning my shirt. He started wiping the dried blood from the wound. About half way through he just stopped. "This... is a bite wound..." He sounded shocked and sad at the same time. I looked at the ground and put my hand over my face but said nothing. We sat in silence for a while before he said anything.

"I won't tell them," He sounded defeated. I didn't know what to say. I didn't necessarily want him to keep it a secret, but at the same time I was glad. I wasn't ready to die.

He buried his head in my chest again and I ran my fingers through his hair. "Everything's gunna be ok, I promise," He moved back and picked up the gauze. "How can you say that? You've been bitten, you'll become an infected eventually," He continued dressing my wound, but he wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Honestly, I don't know, But I'm going to protect you no matter what."

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><p>Just a few quick things about liberties I took that maybe people might not understand. 1) The infection spreads though bites, like in most Zombies movies and such. (I know that's not how it works in the game, but ehh) 2) The infection has a really long incubation period. Because I need it too.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Bwaaa~ sorry this chapter took so long! but this is a good chapter, so I think it makes up for it. :3 maybe not... xD I hope you guys like it anyway!

as always, don't own L4D.

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><p>My throat hurt and I found it hard to speak when I woke up the next morning. I wanted to think it was just a cold, but I knew better. Gregory refused to leave my side the entire day, he would even hold onto the back of my shirt while we were walking, like he thought that if he let go I would disappear, or turn into a zombie.<p>

If the others noticed, they didn't say anything. Maybe they had figured out that we didn't care.

There was no safe-house near us when the sun started setting, so we grabbed some abandoned wooden furniture and built a fire on a nearby rooftop. After everyone had finished eating the others laid down to sleep because Gregory and I were on first watch. He insisted on changing the bandages on my shoulder when we started to hear their light snores.

"Your gums are bleeding," Gregory handed me a towel after I touched my gums and saw blood on my fingers. I put the towel to my gums, but even after applying pressure for some time, the blood continued to drip from my teeth into my mouth, filling it with the taste of my own blood; somewhere between clean blood, and the putrid blood of the infected.

The bleeding did eventually stop, and I spit what was left of my blood onto the pavement, glad to be rid of the taste. Gregory had finished with my shoulder by then, and was sitting quietly next to me, probably closer than was necessary.

"So, what's your story?" I was just trying to break the silence, but I was also honestly curious. Gregory looked down at his hands, rubbing his knuckles together, while he started telling me about his life before the apocalypse. He said he had just entered his freshman year of high school, his dad wasn't around much because of his job, and his little sister had died when she was 6. His parents had gotten a divorce not long after she had died, and he hadn't seen his mom since then. He said he didn't have any friends, and that he was bullied a lot in school because he was so shy.

"It's not fair, you know, the one person who's actually nice to me is gunna turn into a zombie," I ruffled his hair and pulled him into a light hug. "I know kid, I'm sorry,"

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><p>In the morning we headed towards a warehouse that we had seen a note about on one of the walls of a safe-house we had been to, because we needed supplies. The note had said that there was everything from guns and ammo to clothing, all free for survivors to take. Not that it mattered in this world whether someone said it was free or not.<p>

The warehouse was very strangely built. It had many large rooms with large wooden crates in them. The wooden crates formed a maze from one steel door to the next.

We figured we could cover more ground if we spit up, so we all headed in a different directions to search through the crates for the things we needed.

The first crate I looked through was full of clothes. After a bit of looking I found a nice pair of white pants and a comfortable gray t-shirt to replace the filthy torn-up ones I was wearing. While it wasn't a shower, at least it was something. I also found a pair of jeans and a jean jacket that looked like they would fit Gregory. The others could find their own clothes.

As I was about to move on to the next crate, something caught my eye. Sitting in the pile of clothes was a lime green hoodie. I don't know why I was drawn to it, but as soon as I put it on I felt complete. I put the hood up and it made me feel safe, like no one could see me.

I shook the hood and the feeling off and moved to the door. As I turned the corner I saw Anna rip the cross from Gregory's neck as she glared at him.

"What makes you so special?" She took an aggressive posture and stared at him, almost begging him to make a move. Gregory just stared at her. He looked back and forth between the cross in her hand and her face as if he was trying to comprehend what he had done wrong and why she had stolen the necklace.

I was pissed. I ran into the room and pulled the cross from her hand then shoved her back against one of the crates. "What the fuck is your problem?" I walked over to Gregory and placed the cross in his hands. "Are you alright?" he nodded his head and placed the cross back around his neck.

I glared at Anna as she tried to compose herself after my sudden arrival. "You touch him again and you'll have to deal with me, got it?" She looked shocked and upset. "What? No, I... I didn't..."

"Don't bother, I don't care," I glared at her before I grabbed Gregory's shoulder and led him out of the room.

I gave Gregory the clothes I had gotten for him then went to rummage through a crate of guns in the corner while he changed. I found several boxes of ammo and a light 38 caliber pistol for Gregory. He'd been using a bat up until now, but I figured it was time for him to have a gun too.

The clothes I had gotten fit him almost perfectly. I felt rather pleased with myself as I watched him inspect his new, clean clothes.

*x*

After we had gathered all gathered clothes, food, medical supplies, and weapons, we gathered in front of the warehouse. Evan had found a flier about an evac-station that was not to far from where we where. It was dated just a few days ago, and it said that the military was in charge of it, so we figured they would probably still be there.

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><p>Of course our journey to the evac-satation couldn't be uneventful. I didn't take long after we left the warehouse before a horde was on top of us. If we hadn't just refreshed our supplies, we probably wouldn't have made it. It was the largest horde we had come across so far, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was because of the proximity to the evacuation site.<p>

It took us an hour to kill off the whole horde, along with the rush of special infected that came with them. As we dispatched with the last of the Commons I felt something touch my shoulder and swung my axe around to watch it separate Anna's head from her shoulders. I stared with wide eyes at my companions.

"I.. I.." It felt good. Her blood was beautiful and clean. Not like the dark tainted blood of the infected.

"It was an accident..." I liked it.

"Oh god, I'm sorry..." No, I'm not.

"She startled me," I'd do it again. Killing her wasn't like killing the half-dead fucks I killed every day.

I dropped my axe and it clanked loudly against the ground. That had to be the virus talking, right? Gregory ran over and hugged me around the waist. My head hurt and it made it hard to think. I dropped down on my knees and gripped my head between my hands. Gregory produced a bottle of water and forced me to drink some. I felt bile in the back of my throat, but I couldn't let myself vomit; If I did they would see the blood. I couldn't explain that away.

Evan and Satoshi easily forgave me for Anna's death because they believed my episode had been out of remorse. The side of me that wanted their blood was happy; the side that didn't, feared for their safety.

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><p>When we got to the military barricade Gregory looked around anxiously. I put my hood up to try to be as inconspicuous as possible. If anyone found out I was infected, we would all probably be dead. The CEDA were bastards after all, they wouldn't take a chance on people that had been traveling with an infected. Evan and Satoshi ran up to the group of guards near the entrance, but I hung back, there was no way I would get through, they were running tests on people before they let them in. I decided it was too dangerous and turned around to leave when one of the soldiers spotted me.<p>

"Stop! Sir, please take down your hood," I guess the hood wasn't such a good idea after all. I started to panic as he trotted over to us. I put my hood down, but before he could get over to us I started coughing up blood.

"An Infected!" He leveled his gun at us and Gregory stepped in front of me. Before he could take a shot, I grabbed Gregory from behind and used my new leg strength to leap behind a wall. It wasn't quite as far as a Hunter could jump, but it was a hell of a lot farther than any human could.

When we landed everyone broke into a panic, people were yelling and screaming and bullets whizzed past our heads. I took off back into the city, Gregory still in my arms, just praying that ALL the guards were such lousy shots.

Once we had out run the guards, I briefly worried about Evan and Satoshi's safety, but they were on their own now. I had never really cared for them anyway.

We didn't have anywhere to go. The goal that we had been striving for all this time was now completely out of our reach. However pointless it may have been, it was something. In a sea of uncertainty and danger, it was a rock to occupy our minds and give us hope. Without it there was nothing. There was only zombies, and an infection that would slowly devour my body and mind, and leave me with less than nothing.

We settled on a rooftop about a mile from the barricade. I set Gregory down but he couldn't hold himself up and collapsed to the ground. He looked terrified and confused. I move over to the edge of the building to look out over the city.

I saw something move out of the corner of my left eye and turned to watch a Hunter land on the roof a few feet from me. He looked up at me and our eyes met. I stared into his empty dead eyes and he stared into mine. A kinship passed between us, and I got the feeling that he knew that I would be like him soon.

We heard a sound and both turned to see Gregory still sitting on the ground where I had left him. The Hunter growled and lunged towards him. I watched as if in slow motion and the Hunter flew through the air. My body moved of it's own accord and I lunged after the Hunter to protect what was mine.

I pushed the Hunter past Gregory and we tumbled across the roof. He was stronger than I was, but I was still smarter and more determined. I managed to pin the Hunter to the roof before I sunk my dull teeth into his neck and ripped out a good chunk. The Hunter howled in anger, but there was nothing he could do. By then Gregory had regained his senses and he ran over to us and shot the Hunter in the head with his pistol.

I stood up and spat out the Hunter's flesh onto the pavement. He tasted awful, like putrid beef and sulfur. I went over to the bag Gregory had been carrying and got out a water bottle to wash the taste from my mouth.

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><p>North seemed like as good a direction as any, and with nowhere to go we headed out to find whatever we could. We had been traveling for a few days when we heard a strange noise. It didn't sound like any of the infected we had ever encountered and as we got closer we realized that it was someone singing.<p>

We continued to move towards the odd sound and as we turned around a corner we saw a Witch on the other side of a crowd-control fence. She didn't seem to notice us, so we duck down behind the wall and continued to watch her.

The witch's songs were haunting and beautiful. I wondered how she had kept the ability to speak, but I felt that she somehow only remembered the sounds of the words she sang, and not their meaning, or that they even had a meaning. She stumbled back and forth down the street with her head down, just singing. The bodies of two common infected hung on a barbed wire fence next to her, their dead limbs swaying lightly in the breeze.

The scene calmed me. The sadness and death that radiated from it reflected the sadness and death within my heart. This was what our world had become, and all the world shared in this sorrow; no one was unaffected, no one outside of it's reach.

Gregory put his hand on my shoulder. All we could do now was make the best of what we had. I was still afraid of attacking him, but I would stop myself as long as I absolutely could.

He didn't seem afraid of me, even though my skin was starting to turn gray and my teeth had grown and my gums bled more often. My nails had grown too, and the light had started to hurt my eyes, so I wore the hood of the green hoodie I had found in the warehouse almost all the time. Everyday made me look more like the Hunter I was becoming, but Gregory would just wipe the blood from my chin and act like nothing was wrong.

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><p>*The little asterisk there is for a "non-canon" yaoi thing that I wrote because I felt like I had too. It's not at all important to the story, but if you'd like to read it anyway, you can find it on my yaoi-gallery account. I'll put a link up on my profile, but it's the same as my Pen Name.<p>

Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, good, bad, or indifferent!


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everybody! This is the last chapter, I hope everyone has enjoyed the story!

don't own l4d

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><p>We sat in an alley close to the Witch for a long while, listening to her song and playing with the overgrown weeds around us like bored children. I was sitting on the ground with Gregory sitting on a crate above me when he said something. His words were strange and garbled in my ears and I looked up at him with confused eyes. He looked down at me, not realizing that I hadn't understood his words.<p>

"Traveling I mean," I debated whether or not to ask him what he had said before. I didn't want to worry him, but after he started speaking again and I heard the same garbled nonsense, I had to say something.

When I opened my mouth nothing came out. I frowned and tried to form words but all that came out was growls and strange creaking sounds that were suppose to be words, but weren't. Gregory dropped the grass he was messing with and jumped off the crate to kneel in front of me.

"Are you alright?" I rubbed my hand over my face and tried to speak again. My words came out shaky and rough, but at least they were words. "I-I'm fine," I looked at Gregory from beneath my hood and tried to smile, but it came out sort of lopsided.

"What were you saying?" My voice was slightly more steady by then, and Gregory moved sit down in front of me.

"I said it all seems kinda pointless, doesn't it? We should just find a place to stay. Why should we continue to expend energy traveling when we have nowhere to go?" Gregory sighed and looked up at the bit of sky that he could see between the buildings above us.

He looked as if he had more to say, but didn't want to say it. I suspected it had something to do with the inevitable end of our little journey, but I didn't want to think about it either.

"Yeah, you're right kid, it does seem pretty pointless," I glanced at the Witch again, who remained blissfully unaware of the world around her as she stumbled along.

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><p>We found an apartment in a building not too far away that had a thick door and only one window. It was high off the ground too, which would keep the commons out, even if it probably wouldn't deter the specials. We were pretty confident about being able to protect ourselves here, unless a Tank came along, but there wasn't much that could keep a Tank out.<p>

We had settled into the apartment and even found a grocery store that was about 6 blocks from our new home; but after a few days, I had started having episodes of searing white-hot pain that ran through my entire body, and as much as I hated it, I had to stay in the apartment when ever Gregory went to get supplies.

Gregory woke me up one morning about a week later to tell me that we needed food and that he was going out. I was so scared for him, but there was no other choice, I would be more or a burden than a help if I collapsed while we were out.

I had been pacing for a while after he left when I had one of my attacks. I fell to the ground and it felt like my muscles were being ripped from my bones. I scratched and clawed at the ground, praying for it to stop, until I lost consciousness.

I woke-up to a strong and appealing sent coming from down the hall. It smelled familiar, but I couldn't place where exactly I had smelled it before. I got up and crouched close to the door, waiting for whatever it was to come into the room.

When the door opened I lunged at Gregory and slammed him up against the wall. It took all of the strength I had left in my body to bury my claws in the wall next to him, instead of in his chest. He looked startled, but still not scared. Maybe he just didn't care if I killed him at this point.

I was able to regain control so I stepped away from him and let my hands fall to my sides.

"I'm sorry..." He pick up the supplies he dropped when he walked through the door and handed me a pack of beef jerky after he had opened it. "It's ok, it's not your fault,"

I sat down on the floor and dumped the bag of jerky in front of me. I had found that my clumsy claws had a hard time reaching into bags, and dumping them out was much easier. We sat in silence for a long time, me eating the jerky off of the floor and Gregory eating some dried fruit.

"You should just bite me," I looked up at him, but he was looking out the window. He slowly turned to look at me, but I couldn't meet his gaze and turned back to stare at my food.

"I can't do that," I wrapped a gray, clawed hand around another piece of jerky, leaving small scratch marks on the floor where it had been, and brought it up to my mouth. It tasted like nothing, but I ate it anyway. "I promised I would protect you," Gregory stood up and threw his bag of fruit against the wall. The pieces scattered over the floor as he picked up the chair he had been sitting on and threw it against the wall as well.

"How can you protect me if you want to eat me? You'll leave me alone and I'll die out here! Assuming _you_ don't kill me first!" I had never seen him so angry. He turned to the wall and punched it as hard as he could, leaving a small hole. I jumped up and rushed over to inspect his bleeding hand. As soon as I touched him though he shoved me back.

"LEAVE ME ALONE," He whipped tears from his face with the back of his other hand and turned his back to me. I wasn't sure what to do, so I reached up and pushed my hood off of my head. The light stung my eyes, but I didn't care, I just squinted and reached my hand out towards Gregory's shoulder. He jumped when I touched him, but his anger had dissipated and he turned around to bury his head in my chest. He balled up his fists and light hit me in the chest with them.

I sighed and brought my arms around him, trying to ignore the alluring smell of his blood.

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><p>The next day we woke up to the sound of gunfire. Gunfire that wasn't coming from us was a rarity, and as such deserved to be investigated. We both made our way out to the street to see a very burly looking man wielding double shotguns.<p>

The man made quick work of the infected that surrounded him before he spotted us still standing in the doorway. In a flash he was between Gregory and me with his gun in my face.

The three of us stood for a moment trying to figure out just what was going on. Gregory was the first to move and shoved the man hard, moving so that he was next to me again.

"You leave him alone! He didn't do anything to you!" I saw the same fierceness in Gregory that I had seen yesterday and was silently glad this time it wasn't pointed at me.

"Kid, caint chu see he's infected? What, chu stupid er somethin'?" His voice was gruff and void of emotion.

"He's not just an Infected! He's my friend!" Gregory tried to hide as much of me behind himself as he could, but I was much taller that he was.

"Your friend's libel ta eat cha, why don't cha come with me an' leave 'im to his fate, ain't nothin' you can do fr' 'im now, 'cept maybe put 'im out a his misery," Gregory glared at the man and put his arms up to block the man as he tried to come around him.

"NO, I won't leave him! And I won't let you hurt him either!" The man hit Gregory over the head with his one of his shotguns and leveled it at me before I could even move.

"If ya understand me, get. I aint gunna say it again," I took a step back and glared at the man.

"I understand you just fine," He seemed a bit surprised but still remained unfazed. I grit my teeth wishing that there was something more I could do, I really didn't want to leave Gregory alone with this man.

"Good, then get, an' if I see ya again I won't hesitate ta put a bullet in yer head," He stuck the barrel of his gun directly in my face, and if I had been more coordinated at that point, I would have at least tried to rip it from his hands; as things stood though, I knew I would only get a bullet for my trouble.

"This isn't over," I glared at the man one last time before turning around and walking until he couldn't see me anymore, there was no way I was going anywhere without Gregory. I climbed up to the top of the building so that I could follow them without getting shot and watched as the man picked Gregory up and started carrying him towards a safe-house.

I had a better appreciation for the infected after that night. I sat outside the safe-house knowing that there was something in there that I desperately wanted and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to get it. I could hear Gregory screaming inside the safe-house and it was driving me crazy. I didn't think he was in any danger, but I still felt helpless.

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><p>I kept my distance from the pair for many days, I was truly starting to feel like a hunter stalking its prey. I don't know if the man knew I was following them or not, but he never took any shots at me, so I suspect he didn't.<p>

The man was fast and efficient though, even with Gregory dragging his feet and slowing him down. Gregory barely made any attempt at fighting, but the man was still able to do a hell of a job protecting them. Unfortunately for me, that meant I had to move as quickly as I could to keep up with them.

I ended up losing them when a Jokey decided to pick a fight with me. He was easy enough to get rid of once I got him off my back, but it still took long enough that I had lost sight of them.

I turned down an alley to get ahead of them I saw a Spitter sitting in the middle cutting steel pipes with her acid. The pipes were laying all over the ground with a few in a pile behind her and others stacked near where I had entered. When I moved to go through the alley she looked up and hissed at me. I crouched down to defend myself, but as soon as I stopped moving she ignored me and went back to her pipes. She was creating strange shapes with them that could have been sculptures, if the one manipulating them hadn't been a Zombie.

I stood up and continued walking, kicking one of the pipes in my way. The Spitter jumped up and screeched, spitting one of her acid balls at me. I crouched down and jumped out of the way as quickly as I could, just barely avoiding the acid projectile. I grabbed onto the fire-escape and flipped around to prepare for her next attack, but the Spitter just went over to the pipe I had kicked and moved it back to where it had been.

Confused, but admittedly grateful to avoid another fight, I traveled the rest of the alley on the fire-escape. Once I was passed the alley I climbed up the side of a building to look for Gregory. I saw him a good distance from me and leapt from the building to follow him.

I landed on the pavement and look up to see the singing Witch standing next to me. See looked as startled as I felt, but instead of attacking me, like I was sure she was going to, she just reached out her giant claw and set it lightly on my head. Her song never stopped the whole time she was rubbing my head, as though she had no choice but to sing, and then I understood.

There was no choice. She didn't have a choice. The commons didn't have a choice. I didn't have a choice. What this disease took from us was our will, our will to do anything but spread it to others.

When I thought about it like that, it didn't seem like the end of the world. When all the humans were gone, maybe we could regain some semblance of humanity, even if we couldn't talk or think anymore. Why couldn't I protect Gregory in this state? If I wanted it bad enough, like the Witch, not even the flu could keep me from protecting him, like it couldn't keep her from singing, so what if she didn't really know what she was singing. Didn't it still feel the same? Perhaps everything was a bit more hazy, but the emotions were still there.

The Smoker still had a sense of self-preservation.

The Hunter still felt fear.

The Witch still wanted to entertain.

The Spitter still wanted to express herself.

And I still wanted to protect the people who were important to me.

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><p>I felt renewed vigor after I left the Witch. I silently thanked her and prayed for her safety. I was finally able to catch up with with Gregory and the man. I climbed up to a roof near where they had been delayed slightly by a large Horde. I was watching closely when a Hunter jump up and sat next to me. He glanced at me briefly before he screeched and leapt towards the two survivors. He was almost on top of him when I realized that Gregory was his target and not the man.<p>

I leapt after the Hunter as quickly as I could, but he had Gregory pinned long before I could get to the ground. When I landed Gregory saw me and called out to me. He sounded overjoyed to see me safe and seemed to have forgotten about the Hunter that was still on top of him.

Before I could remove him though, Gregory shoved his arm up into the Hunter's mouth which caused the Hunter to bite down. I could smell Gregory's blood in the air as I watched the Hunter let go of Gregory's arm and move to bite him again before being blown away by the man's shotgun.

The man didn't pay any attention to me as he moved over to examine Gregory's wound. He took one look at it, realized it was a bite wound and then leveled his shotgun at Gregory's head. Before he could pull the trigger I pounced and pinned him to the ground near Gregory. I used all my strength to tear him to shreds.

When he stopped moving I sat very still on top of his body. The smell of his blood was intoxicating. I turned and leapt towards Gregory, hoping for more blood. Gregory hit me across the face before I was able to pin him and it brought me back to my senses. I took a step back and looked a Gregory. He stood in a hunched over position, clothes torn and dirty, his blood dripped from the wound on his arm and you could hardly tell how much of the blood that soaked his clothes was his, and how much was infected blood. I guess his blood was infected now too though. He clutched the shotgun lightly in his hand and looked at me with as sad defeated expression.

I ran into an alley to keep myself from attacking him again, then I just kept running. I came across the Witch and collapsed to listen to her songs again.

My whole body hurt, it wasn't quite as bad as the searing pain before, more like a dull ache that reminded me of the changes in my body. I started coughing and couldn't stop until I sat up and vomited out bloody bile and my world finally went black.

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><p>A Hunter in a green hoodie stood up from where it had been laying passed out on the ground; it growled and sniffed the air as though it were looking for something. It screeched loudly as it leapt from the ground to the top of the two-story building it had woken up next to. It moved from roof-top to roof-top with purpose, ignoring or avoiding anyone and anything in it's way. It finally made it to an abandoned apartment building, screeching as it entered one of the windows on the 5th floor.<p>

Inside the room a boy sat on the ground clutching at the bloody bandages that were wrapped around his arm. The boy looked up as the Hunter entered the room, frighted, until recognition dawned in his eyes. He smiled, touching the simple cross necklace around his neck and said one word.

"Rick,"

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><p>The end!<p> 


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